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Are you a Friend Of The Zones? If so, then you are a F.O.T.Z. Which means, therefore, that you have no choice--you are a FOTZER.

So, what does this mean, you ask? It means nothing, and everything. As a FOTZER, you become part of the priveleged few who have special insight, secret information, the glory of making this one of the truly exciting websites of the universe, and, most importantly, you can acquire for your fireplace mantle a wide assortment of Neat Free Stuff. Yes, that's right. More on this later.

And that's not all. Did you know there is a Hierarchy in Fotzerdom that you can aspire to? At this very moment you might be a Plasma Ghost and not even know it. Or a Quantum Mechanic, a Digital Matrix Denizen, and Enigma of the Zones, or, ultimately, the Grand Wazoo of the Hyper-Dimensional Foam.

It's true. Be still thy trembling hearts. And now, before we reveal more secrets of the Fotzer Hierarchy, you might be wondering just what does your typical Fotzer look like, compared, say, to your average Pigdog. We anticipated your every thought and so provide you with the answers you seek.

*Note the high forehead, indicating immeasurable intelligence
*Note the squinting eye, indicating concentration and undeniable intensity
*Note the open eye, indicating curiosity, open mindedness, the neverending search into the unknown
*Note the big ears, indicating a receptiveness to sensorial stimuli, attuned to the world at large, or to worlds beyond worlds
*Note the resting hand and pointed digit, indicating the classic pose of the thinker, the scholar, the philosopher
*Note the stretched neck, indicating a straining for more, never satisfied, willing to stick one's neck out...even where there is danger

And now, back to the ZONE HIERARCHY. This is it in a nutshell: If you link us to your friends, then you receive neat, free stuff. The more you link us, the more you get. That's it. Now before the final details listed below, the Computator Engine No. 7 has spit out the first three images ever seen of denizens of the Zone Hierarchy.

So, yeah, that's right. Links=Free Stuff. Remember that, repeat over and over as your own personal mantra. If you want to see this site grow to its full potential, to be on the ground floor of a cultural revolution, to have pride in fulfilling your civic duty, then link, link, and link again. Here's how it works. If you e-mail us a copy of your email that sends our link out to your friends, we can count the links, keep track, and then send you your Free Stuff. And this is what you can get: